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Azurestain

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(no subject) [Apr. 4th, 2012|09:24 am]
Azurestain
[Current Location |home]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]

I love this. This silence as the kids sleep in, and I got up at 7 like I normally do. The scent of a huge lily in a vase coming up the stairs...I love that heady smell. The only sound is the soft whir of my fan and the crickets rustling, although I can't really hear that one. My baby chameleon is really warming up to me..she likes to walk onto my hand and be stroked under her chin. I don't take her out too often but I am hand taming her, and it seems to be going well, as she walks to me. Next step is hand feeding. The kids..they found out yesterday there were 10 days left til my birthday, and they made me a sign out of dandelions and branches that said WE LOVE U MOM not only that, but Iso played percussion on a planter, the edge of the porch, and the waste-bin and they sang me a song. Those kids make my life a thousand time richer and more vital. I'm so blessed. Didn't have to wake them up, I'll let them sleep, because we all stayed up til midnight, eating Poppycock (original and cashew lovers) and watching Ghostbusters, and Jeff and Fiona fell asleep on the couch together. Iso and I looked at pictures and made a fort under the computer desk. Life is so enjoyable right now, still stressful at times, but I'm going to just sail with it. Today I am returning things to the store that don't fit us, and then my only goal is painting Fiona's nails-bought some icy lavender nail polish for us. Oh, and cleaning Karen's house for her, because she's been gone for almost 2 months visiting her granddaughter in Cali, and what kind of daughter-in-law would I be if I didn't polish her house up? Namaste everybodies!
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(no subject) [Jul. 22nd, 2010|10:31 pm]
Azurestain
I am feeling very creative tonight, and planning on painting. I always want to put a meaningful quote down on canvas first and then paint around it, so I'm going to play around with that idea. I read some Ray Bradbury tonight (From The Dust Returned) and it got the creative juices flowing. He is just incredible. Just talked to Alison on the phone, she is pretty well and it was nice to catch up. Couldn't see her this trip but that's ok. I've been here at my parent's house in Fayetteville, GA for 5 days now. I'm surrounded by FOX news and conservative talk radio. That's ok though. My parents are actually pretty tolerable. They are sweet and are getting a lot out of Fiona and Iso's company. It's my sister I am not getting along with, for various reasons. She sponges off my parents, won't eat ANYTHING healthy (i have been here 5 days and seen her consume copious amounts of chips and cheese dip, garlic bread, pre-made cracker and cheese snacks and milk), makes my parents drive her everywhere because she won't learn to drive, doesn't do anything chore-wise around the house, doesn't work or go to school, and if you ask her any questions about anything or (gasp) dare offer her some green beans at the dinner table, she gets massively offended and tells you "no food talk" I honestly think she has some sort of personality disorder, and my parents have no backbone when it comes to dealing with her. Tried to go shopping with my mother alone and Kati was invited, without even asking me, and the whole time my mom and I shopped and ran errands Kati would not easily let me walk close to my mom..she would grab her arm and cling to it and I would walk ahead or behind. Very fucking annoying. Considering she is 24. I would tell her to go fuck herself but that would cause an atrocious scene and I'm not putting my parents through that. I've been ignoring her for about 3 days now and it appears to work well. So anyway, I miss Jeff a lot and can't wait to be home Monday. We've been talking on the phone a few times a day but I need to be spooned to feel whole. I've been to the Atlanta Zoo and Aquarium so far, and tomorrow we are going to have a family portrait taken..fun times, I guess. I'm so excited about going back to school. I applied for Financial Aid, got accepted, and registered for classes last week. I'm doing the therapeutic massage thing to see how it works out. I get to take Tai-Chi and Yoga, Energy Work, Reiki, and I think it'll really mesh with me. And if it doesn't, at least I'll be in school taking classes and getting back into the academic scene. It's been 8 years, enough is enough. I think I want to be a student for a while. Like, at least ten years. Why not?
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(no subject) [Jun. 4th, 2010|12:41 pm]
Azurestain
So the other day was "large items of refuse on the street for pickup" day in frostburg..it's always funny to see pickup trucks with trailers hitched to the back scouting the streets, then zooming up and claiming some couches or mattresses before anyone else can pull in. I found a decent hamper to store extra blankets in and a 15 gallon tank, which I am very pleased about..just sent an email to a pet adoption center in silver spring about a baby leopard gecko. I hope I get her, she's silvery white with black marks.
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(no subject) [May. 2nd, 2010|03:07 pm]
Azurestain
I wonder if the yeast i used to make bread today realized what was happening to it.
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a good time [Apr. 25th, 2010|02:48 pm]
Azurestain
Two weeks ago I was listening to WFWM on the weekend, where they play really good roots and bluegrass music, and I called in and won a pair of tickets to an event that I went to last night. It was a performance by Darrell Scott. I'm going to try to describe it, but I'm not sure that there are many words to give him justice. It was the BEST performance of anything I have EVER seen. He plays his guitar and sings, and it just rips your heart out with its pure beauty. I have been listening to him all day now. I cried a little a few times through the night, but the last song is what pushed me over the edge. I don't think there was a dry face in the whole audience, and we couldn't even clap for a second after he stopped. But he got down off the stage because the acoustics were so wonderful in The Palace and stood on the floor in the front with his guitar, and raised his voice and let it go..it was just gorgeous. Check out 'A Crooked Road', 'When There's No One Around' and 'This Beggar's Heart' (that was the last one)if you have time. I've been abnormally tenderhearted lately, so maybe that's why I was so moved..it was really great.
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(no subject) [Apr. 15th, 2010|03:42 pm]
Azurestain
I found one of my favorite poems. I was about 14 or 15 when I first read it, in a book by J.R.R. Tolkien. It is called: The Little House of Lost Play: Mar Vanwa Tyaliéva. It makes me feel melancholy in a peaceful sort of way.


We knew that land once, You and I,
and once we wandered there
in the long days now long gone by,
a dark child and a fair.
Was it on the paths of firelight thought
in winter cold and white,
or in the blue-spun twilit hours
of little early tucked-up beds
in drowsy summer night,
that you and I in Sleep went down
to meet each other there,
your dark hair on your white nightgown
and mine was tangled fair?

We wandered shyly hand in hand,
small footprints in the golden sand,
and gathered pearls and shells in pails,
while all about the nightingales
were singing in the trees.
We dug for silver with our spades,
and caught the sparkle of the seas,
then ran ashore to greenlit glades,
and found the warm and winding lane
that now we cannot find again,
between tall whispering trees.

There was neither night nor day,
an ever-eve of gloaming light,
when first there glimmered into sight
the Little House of Play.
New-built it was, yet very old,
white, and thatched with straws of gold,
and pierced with peeping lattices
that looked toward the sea;
and our own children's garden-plots
were there: our own forget-me-nots,
red daisies, cress and mustard,
and radishes for tea.
There all the borders, trimmed with box,
were filled with favourite flowers, with phlox,
with lupins, pinks, and hollyhocks,
beneath a red may-tree;
and all the gardens full of folk
that their own little language spoke,
but not to You and Me.

For some had silver watering-cans
and watered all their gowns,
or sprayed each other; some laid plans
to build their houses, little towns
and dwellings in the trees.
And some were clambering on the roof;
some crooning lonely and aloof;
some dancing round the fairy-rings
all garlanded in daisy-strings,
while some upon their knees
before a little white-robed king
crowned with marigold would sing
their rhymes of long ago.
But side by side a little pair
with heads together, mingled hair,
went walking to and fro
still hand in hand; and what they said,
ere Waking far apart them led,
that only we now know.
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(no subject) [Apr. 9th, 2010|07:04 pm]
Azurestain
just a drop of water in an endless sea
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(no subject) [Apr. 2nd, 2010|12:09 pm]
Azurestain
I wasn't planning on going anywhere last night. I've been sick, and I seem to have conjunctivitis in both eyes. They are fluorescent pink. But that's ok, as most people just assume I'm really stoned. I went to Dante's to meet Jeff for a moment, but he wasn't there, so I went outside and had several lovely conversations in the low 60's weather. Made some new friends and caught up with some really old ones. Jeff came in and started playing percussion, then came and found me and brought me a glass of reisling, and cuddled with me. One of the people I caught up with is a massage therapist..I am now going to get an hour and a half massage because she says I need it. Who am I to argue with that? I also got to know my neighbors...Josh Brown is a truely incredible potter, and he happens to live right behind our house. I already knew him but had no idea he lived close by. I met his girlfriend Amy last night and found out they have kids too..so now we're going to be getting together, playing and grilling and such. The warm weather is bringing warm emotions with it, and this makes me feel more content.
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2010|12:28 pm]
Azurestain
i had a dream last night about swimming in a cold, cold ocean with alison and kendall. running into the surf and swimming out with them, and finding dimes floating on the surface. i think i gathered about 70 cents. kendall said, "your lips are purple" and "turn back". i eventually did..when i felt a deeper coldness rising from below, i started to become afraid of something bigger than me coming up to devour me. so, back to the beach, and then we were going to drive home, but stop in tennessee first, for some reason. memphis. it was extrememly important but i don't know why. i was also very upset at my boyfriend kurt, who is a friend in real life and i have no attraction to, but in the dream he had just broken up with me and i was fucking pissed. i remember saying, "i knew it wouldn't last forever, but we could have at least had some fun for a while". weird dream.
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2010|12:13 am]
Azurestain
I love my betta. He always swims up when I come over to his bowl. He lets me pet him, and he blows bubbles for me. He even watches tv with me sometimes. He seems very intelligent and friendly, and always puffs out his gill membrane whenever he first swims up. I read that it's a sign of aggression, but I like to believe it's his little way of saying i love you.
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